Ups and Downs

Really the only word that can describe today is "interesting."  It's been a day of ups and downs.

On the up side, I was able to walk to and from school today and didn't get lost (though I was with people who knew the way on the way there).  Also, I received two cards from my mother - thanks!  And my professor for my Culture and Civilization class which I was finding difficult is printing out the notes for us (unfortunately he gives them to us the class after we cover the topic so we cannot have them in front of us to just add on).

And...drum roll, please...my friend Elizabeth and I have decided upon our travel destination (and my friend Katie can come too!)...we're going to one of the Canary Islands!!!!!!  I'm not going to say which one here for safety purposes, but very soon I will be soaking up the sun on a beautiful island beach!  I cannot wait!  The best part?  We found round trip tickets there for only a little over $100 and for only about $25 more than it would cost us to go to a beach on the mainland.

Down side...lottery ticket = fail.

But what really has me confused and worried today is a chat I had with my professor today after class.  For my Phonetics and Phonology course, we had a couple of non-graded quizzes.  First, we had to listen to my teacher read a sentence aloud and write down what we understood.  Then we had to read several sentences aloud, which she recorded to analyze our pronunciation.  Then for homework, we had to think about the topic "my friends and I" and write about 15 lines in Spanish related to this topic without using a dictionary or any other resource so that she could see what level we were on in Spanish.  I was not too worried about any of this...I was pretty sure I understood what she said during the first quiz (and have since checked my answers to find they were all correct), knew my pronunciation was not the best, but that is the point of taking this class - to better it, and thought my writing would show my level well, as writing is easier for me than speaking, understanding, or reading Spanish.


So after talking about the quizzes in class, the professor asked to see 3 students after class.  Of course, one of those students was me.  Our professor told us that the quiz (or quizzes?  I'm not sure which one/s) indicated that we were at a slightly lower level of Spanish than that required for the 400 level course.  She said that we were welcome to continue taking the course, but it would be much more difficult for us.  In addition, we would probably have to work much harder to get a good grade.  She said that in the past she has had students in the same situation pass the class with hard work and that it is up to us whether or not we want to continue in the course.  If we do continue, she said she will not treat us any differently than any of the other students, but she wanted us to know what we are up against.

I am so confused...I got all the answers to the oral quiz correct and know I made almost no errors in my writing (though I did use easier tenses, not because they were easier but because I needed those tenses to express what I wanted to say).  I know my pronunciation is not great, but the point of the class is to improve it.  Everyone I have talked to (Spanish professors and natives included) has been very impressed with my Spanish abilities in various areas (usually writing but sometimes speaking).  I am not used to being the one behind in any subject, especially not Spanish.  I don't understand.  It's like all of a sudden I went from being at the top to being at the bottom and I do not like it.

I just don't know what to do now.  I know the class will be hard - it would be hard even if I were at a higher level because it is an advanced course.  I don't really want to drop the class, but I am torn between fear of failure, embarrassment at being at the bottom and feeling like my professor does not have a great impression of my abilities, and a desire to prove her analysis wrong.  What should I do?  Advice??

That's about it...the summary of my interesting day so far which has put me in a weird mood - between being happy, excited, sad, confused, and worried.  Hopefully I'll be able to focus on the good parts of today.

Peace and Blessings,
Melanie

Spanish Words of the Day:  confundida = confused, preocupada = worried, contenta = happy, nivel = level :)