It was not until several days after Thanksgiving that I began to think that I might be ready to be home - where I could see my family and friends and eat pepperoni pizza, tomato soup from Bread Co, and drink real milk and play the piano and play hand and foot.
But even despite my longings for these things and people, I was still not ready to leave at all. I continued to feel like there was so much I still wanted to experience and see here and so much more I could learn that I was not ready to go home. I kept hoping I would come to terms with the fact that I could not do everything and become more ready to go home, but as of yet...and this is 2+ weeks after I first planned to write this post...I am still not ready to leave. But I do not think I ever will be. Leaving signifies the ending of a dream and the closing of a chapter of my life and a difficult transition. And I do not want to face those things.
It's a strange paradox to be, on the one hand, super excited that my departure day is coming up so that I can see everyone I miss, and to at the same time want to cry every time I even think about the fact that I will be leaving. It's gonna be a difficult transition home.
But I will never be ready so I just have to be thankful for my time here and know that change is good.
Peace and Blessings,
Melanie
Spanish Word of the Day: cambiar = to change, salir = to leave :)
3 comments:
Oh, Mel. It's not the end of your dream. Really it's just the beginning. Not only do you still have another semester out of the country coming up, you can look forward to sharing all that you have learned and experienced (well, almost all of it) with your future students.
Sounds like some real internal struggles going on. Saying goodbye to people, places, things and times has never been easy for me. Sounds like it could be difficult for you as well. Don't worry, you will always have these times in your head and your heart.
You are both very sweet! Yes, I did have internal struggles going on...and it does seem like the end of a dream, but you are both right. And I know I'll never forget my adventures...even if I didn't have the help of this blog.
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